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Unfiltered Brain Leakage (CANSON EDITION)



Saturday, April 13 — 5:51 AM. No coffee. No snacks. Just water and a couple of propafenone for the arrhythmia.

I dusted off my old Canson sketchbook, bought a thousand years ago. Its pages are starting to yellow at the edges, probably from that one humid day I left it out of the drawer. Two stickers from a local artist stare back at me — reminders that yes, this sketchbook is meant for my ideas. Like that artist who inspired me one random afternoon with nothing but silkscreens and stickers.

Inside: 60 pages of pure chaos. Scribbles. Product tests. Project fetuses swimming in the amniotic soup of creativity.

And as I reread them, I remember… I wrote this on a different sleepless night. I was inspired as hell. I knew the project would be a hit. That feeling hits me again now, this Saturday morning, like a warm coffee I didn’t have.

Clients want their files delivered on Fridays. And Mondays. At 8 AM. They’ve unionized to prevent me from resting. So I steal a few minutes of sleep time to write this. Maybe to inspire someone. Or maybe just to inspire future me.

What’s in my head at this hour? The usual: debts, deadlines, numbers, due dates, and wondering if I took the trash out. But this sketchbook — this quiet, messy, idea-filled brain-dump — reminds me I can still create. It’s my safe zone. My escape hatch. The crowbar that cracks open the skull of zombie routine — just for a few pages.

Each project idea in here is a tiny win. And I want to make them all. I want to lock myself in a cave (with Wi-Fi), dive in, and emerge twelve months later: skinny, filthy, but holding every finished project up like a caveman with a torch.

Sometimes I even send pages from this sketchbook to close friends, hoping they’ll send back photos of theirs. Some people send dick pics on Saturdays. I send sketchbook pics full of nonsense, half-baked ideas, and chaos — but all mine, and all worth something. And when someone sends back their own pages, it’s a weird little moment of mutual inspiration. Not sexy, but definitely creative. And sometimes, that’s enough to keep going.

There are new projects brewing. And if you’re reading this (hopefully not just future me), maybe you’re thinking: “So many ideas, but you never finish one…”

I know. But I’d rather have a thousand good ideas unfinished than publish one polished piece of shit that doesn’t mean a damn thing to me.

I see books here. Toys. Comics. Games. And I want to make all of them. No. I will make all of them. Time passes, but my ideas only get better.

This sketchbook even sleeps next to me now — just in case something hits while I’m waking up, before my brain gets polluted with news, obligations, or memes. These aren’t the best drawings. These aren’t the best photos. But they’re the first sparks, the messy ones. The ones that slip away if you don’t trap them fast enough.

Just remembered I forgot to take my cetirizine for allergies. But I did take my daily dose of inspiration.